The Strategic Communicator » Influential Communications http://presentingmatters.com/blog Achieve Important Business Goals with Influential & Persuasive Communications Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:27:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Powerful Networking http://presentingmatters.com/blog/powerful-networking/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/powerful-networking/#comments Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:08:49 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=214 Not too long ago I wrote about how to find the most important person in the room by reading specific body language cues. (By the way, thank you to all the magazines and other blogs that picked up this story!)

Recently, a colleague on LinkedIn asked how do you present yourself as the most important person [...]]]>

Not too long ago I wrote about how to find the most important person in the room by reading specific body language cues. (By the way, thank you to all the magazines and other blogs that picked up this story!)

Recently, a colleague on LinkedIn asked how do you present yourself as the most important person the room?

Great question!

While the body language cues I discussed in the first article came primarily from how people react around you, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t a few things you can do to bring the “air of power” back to you.

1.) Look the part: As nice as the saying is “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”, we still do it every day. You want to be as well dressed and as well groomed as possible. Don’t worry about having to stretch your credit card limit on clothes. You can find some great looks for low prices. You want to make sure whatever you wear it is fitted, current, and classy. Good image consultants can be very helpful in this area.

2.) Feel the part: The first person you have to convince is yourself. If you feel shy, insignificant, and scared, it will translate to your facial expressions, body language, and voice. Think of ways that you can pump yourself up. Before going to any event that intimidates me, I play my favorite “go get ‘em” music in my car – loudly. Music is one of the best ways to get your mojo flowin’. You can also get a friend to give you a pep talk. Use them as your pre-game coach. However you get there, get there! The more confident you feel, the more powerful you present yourself.

3.) Be the part: Once you’ve accomplished looking powerful for a first impression and feeling powerful inside, you can then project your powerful nature to the rest of the world. Here are a few power stances you can use when networking and wanting to appear approachable. Nothing projects power like confidence. If you want to appear confident and approachable, you’ll want to be sure to:
Have a genuine smile
Open body language (uncrossed arms and legs, no hands in pockets, palm up gestures)
Strong eye contact
Nodding when listening
Slight tilt of the head
Feet pointed in same direction

While some of these suggestions on “be the part” may seem simple and obvious, you’d be amazed at how many people overlook these necessary confident signals. The main reason why people fail to project these signal is that they don’t believe it. They don’t believe they are powerful. They don’t believe they are significant. They don’t believe in their confidence. This is why step 2 is so critical to this process. You body language leaks the true thoughts your mind (both conscious and subconscious) has.

If you believe it, they will see it.



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/powerful-networking/feed/ 1 How Poor Communications Is Costly to Your Business http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-poor-communications-is-costly-to-your-business/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-poor-communications-is-costly-to-your-business/#comments Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:43:41 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=201

Poor Communication Skills Costly to Businesses

I often talk about the importance of effective communication and presentation skills. I usually focus on what the benefits are for your business. Today I realized that perhaps some companies aren’t aware of the cost of poor communication skills. I believe that this must be the case – a [...]]]>

Poor Communication Skills Costly to Businesses

I often talk about the importance of effective communication and presentation skills. I usually focus on what the benefits are for your business. Today I realized that perhaps some companies aren’t aware of the cost of poor communication skills. I believe that this must be the case – a general unawareness – because businesses are not focusing enough (or any) of their development efforts in this area.

Today, allow me to make it very clear how your business suffers because of underdeveloped employees and poor communication skills.

Lost Business: When things go wrong, how your team handles the situation will determine whether or not your client will stay with you. In our “flat world”, you are replaceable. If your employees don’t handle a crisis situation with strong and effective interpersonal communications, all your client has to do is hop onto Google and contact your competitor.

No Business Growth: Without good interpersonal communication skills, networking efforts are futile. New connections will not be made. Discussions with the decision maker will never happen. Phone calls will not be returned. You may have a good product or service, but if it is not presented well, it won’t get bought.

No Advocates: If your people can’t clearly communicate what your business does and how it can help, how can you expect outside people to turn around and tell their friends, family, coworkers, and others? It won’t happen. The message needs to be clear, concise, and presented effectively. With a strong message, outsiders will be able to spread the word and drive more business to you. Without it, you’re on your own – literally.

Personnel Issues: 80% of office complaints are a result of communication misunderstandings. Think of the time and money that could be saved without the distraction of inter-office communication problems. Plus, people who are happier in their work environment are more productive. With communication training and development, you will not only save money, but also increase revenues.

Underdeveloped People = Underdeveloped Business: Training and developing your people to become highly effective communicators is one of the best investments for your business. How we communicate with the rest of the world directly determines the outcome. Strong communications equal strong relationships, which result in a strong business.

These are only a few of the costs you will be incurring if you allow poor communication skills to fester in your organization. Communications training and professional development are a critical element to the future and continued success of your business. Without improving this crucial area and allowing the communication skills of your employees to stay stagnant, you are choosing to let your business lag behind.

Find resources and training programs that will help you develop your employees, and therefore increase your business success.

Related links:
]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-poor-communications-is-costly-to-your-business/feed/ 1 How to Ask Good Questions http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-to-ask-good-questions/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-to-ask-good-questions/#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:00:09 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=147 When you need help from someone, it can be difficult to swallow a small piece of pride and ask. When you need someone’s approval, it can be frustrating trying to string together the right words in the right order to get the “yes” you want. And when you want someone to do something they probably [...]]]>

When you need help from someone, it can be difficult to swallow a small piece of pride and ask. When you need someone’s approval, it can be frustrating trying to string together the right words in the right order to get the “yes” you want. And when you want someone to do something they probably don’t (like getting your husband to clean the garage) it can feel like diplomatic negotiations.

How you ask a question determines the route a conversation will take. Avoiding push-back, making gentle suggestions, and being assertive are just a portion of the question asking martial arts. With a few insights into question asking techniques, you will quickly hear the sweet sound of “yes” more often.

1) Make it their idea

It is much easier to say yes to an idea we believe to be our own. It is your objective to make your request their idea. My preferred method is to ask many probing questions and then shut up. I let the other person tell me their challenges, needs, and desires. Once I feel I have enough information to make my suggestion, I ask my leading question. For example, “If I’m hearing you correctly, you’re not getting enough solid business leads at the end of your speech. Wouldn’t it be helpful to know some proven techniques that will help bring up those numbers?”

2) Automated “Yes”

Read the example question again. You see how the automatic response is a “yes”. Sure you can say no, you have the ability to, but we are wired to instinctively say “yes” to a question like that. When “going for the kill”, frame your question for an automatic “yes” response. I suggest planning these specific questions before your meeting or conversation. Remember, don’t go for the kill too soon. You want the other person to have time to express their views and opinions first. People love to feel heard. If you go in pushing your “yes” questions on them too soon, they will sense it and hold back.

3) Follow the Crowd

It’s human nature to avoid being the first person to leap out into the unknown. If you are proposing something new and different, the other person may be hesitant to say yes. However, if you let the other person know that others have tried/used/purchased/loved what you are proposing, they will be more comfortable “joining the crowd”. (Right when you thought the lemmings were silly.) You can casually information the other person that others are on board by saying, “Most people are choosing option 2. Which one interests you?”

4) Offer Choices

Get away from a 50/50 yes or no conversation. Instead, offer the listener some choices. Instead of “Honey, will you take out the trash?”, try “Honey, will you take out the trash tonight or in the morning?” Notice how the respondent’s only answer options are tonight or in the morning. It’s very difficult to say “I’m not taking it out at all.” Once “Honey” says – most likely – “I’ll take it out in the morning.” they have made a verbal commitment. That way if the trash isn’t out in the morning, you can offer a friendly reminder- “Oh sweetie. You said you wanted to take the trash out this morning. I just wanted to remind you before the trash guys pick it up.”

5) Benefit Reminder

Wouldn’t it be less stressful to plan these questions ahead of time? Would you enjoy knowing you have more leverage in a conversation? Can you imagine being a negotiation-powerhouse in your next meeting? … Did you catch that? Each of these are example of how to tack on a benefit within the question. Usually people need a reminder of the benefits they will enjoy if they use your suggestion.

Asking questions gives you the power to direct the path of a conversation. Wouldn’t this information be helpful to someone else you know? Why don’t you share and retweet it to you friends? (Couldn’t help myself.)



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-to-ask-good-questions/feed/ 1 Affluent Magazine Publishes Sharí’s Article… http://presentingmatters.com/blog/affluent-magazine-publishes-sharis-article/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/affluent-magazine-publishes-sharis-article/#comments Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:39:37 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=106 Please visit Affluent Magazine’s Web site and read my article “Communications 101 for Managers”. ]]>

Please visit Affluent Magazine’s Web site and read my article “Communications 101 for Managers”.



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/affluent-magazine-publishes-sharis-article/feed/ 0 Give ‘Em What They Want!: Getting Your Audience Interested in Your Presentation http://presentingmatters.com/blog/give-em-what-they-want-getting-your-audience-interested-in-your-presentation/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/give-em-what-they-want-getting-your-audience-interested-in-your-presentation/#comments Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:54:35 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=97

As I’ve discussed in previous posts, it’s important in your presentation to have a balanced mix of what your audience wants to hear and what they need to hear. It is sometimes difficult for presenters to distinguish the difference between the two – because it’s all interesting to us!

So to help you find the “want to knows” here is a small (and growing) list of ideas. Please keep in mind, the “want to knows” are not necessarily the steps, processes, or action items. Instead, a “want to know” is the picture you paint of how their life will be if they implement your suggestions. You have to make the end-result crystal clear in their minds in order for them to even consider listening to you action plan. Read through the list and see if you have any “want to know” you’d like to add…

  • Tomorrow will be better than today – How will your information make their life a little better?
  • Make more money (ideally as easily as possible) – Please, no scammers here.
  • Have more time – We all wish we had more of it. Paint the picture of how your information will give them more time with their family, more time for their hobbies, more time…for anything!
  • To be heard – Ever wish you could be more assertive and get what you want? So does your audience!
  • To achieve their dreams, no matter how distant they seem.
  • Be more attractive to the opposite sex.
  • Be less stressed and find peace.
  • To find love
  • To get (earn) respect

“Want to knows” aren’t extremely complicated. We all want the same things. We all have the same basic and innate dreams. It is best if your presentation can appeal to those basic desires.



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/give-em-what-they-want-getting-your-audience-interested-in-your-presentation/feed/ 0 Leadership Communications: Avoid Being a Bad Leader http://presentingmatters.com/blog/leadership-communications-avoid-being-a-bad-leader/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/leadership-communications-avoid-being-a-bad-leader/#comments Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:34:22 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=95 Recently my article “Being a Bad Leader: 5 Ways to Improve Your Leadership Abilities Through Communication” was featured in Training Magazine Online. Click here to read the article! ]]>

Recently my article “Being a Bad Leader: 5 Ways to Improve Your Leadership Abilities Through Communication” was featured in Training Magazine Online. Click here to read the article!



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/leadership-communications-avoid-being-a-bad-leader/feed/ 0 Presenting What You Want to Say Vs. What They Want To Hear http://presentingmatters.com/blog/presenting-what-you-want-to-say-vs-what-they-want-to-hear/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/presenting-what-you-want-to-say-vs-what-they-want-to-hear/#comments Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:49:43 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=82 In my workshops and seminars, I teach my audience to determine what the audience needs to hear and what the audience wants to hear. More often than not, the two can be as different as night and day. And yet, having a balance of both in your presentation will aid in the success of your [...]]]>

In my workshops and seminars, I teach my audience to determine what the audience needs to hear and what the audience wants to hear. More often than not, the two can be as different as night and day. And yet, having a balance of both in your presentation will aid in the success of your speech.

Unfortunately, many of us have a difficult time figuring out which is which – a “need to know” vs. what is a “want to know”. Presenters usually confuse a “need to know” as a “want to know”, which is a big mistake. If your entire presentation is delivering “need to know information”, you run the risk of your audience getting bored and suffering from left-brain fatigue.

Look at it this way, as an audience member, would you prefer going into a presentation telling you everything you “need to know” (step-by-step process of a new business policy), or what you “want to know” (how new policy will give you more free time)?

The problem is that as presenters, our “need to know/want to know” filter is faulty. What sounds like a “want to know” to a presenter is actually a “need to know” to the audience”. So how can we fix our faulty filter?

You have 2 options.

Interview a potential audience member. Get it straight from the source. Say, “I’ll be speaking on X. What would you like to learn from a program that covers this?” Or, “I was thinking about covering X and Y. Which of those would be more of interest to you? Do either pique your interest?” And then, shut up. Don’t go into your speech. Don’t disagree with what they say. Just listen. You’d be surprised at how much valuable information you can learn from your audience members.

If, for some reason, you can’t get a hold of a potential audience member, you can have a friend interview you about your topic. This is another great way to find the need/want to knows. You will easily be able to tell what is interesting to your friend by the questions they ask you. Pay attention to what topics they ask more questions about. You should easily be able to discern what you should keep in your speech and what you should cut.

Can you think of any other ways to help you differentiate “want to knows” and “need to knows”?



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/presenting-what-you-want-to-say-vs-what-they-want-to-hear/feed/ 1 Reasons Why Audiences Applaud at the End Of a Speech http://presentingmatters.com/blog/reasons-why-audiences-applaud-at-the-end-of-a-speech/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/reasons-why-audiences-applaud-at-the-end-of-a-speech/#comments Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:36:30 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=62 Often speakers think that their audiences applaud and give standing ovations because they are a good speaker. Sadly, this is not always (actually, it’s rarely) the case. Here is a list of reasons why your audience might applaud at the end of you speech.

The speech is over… finally The speech is short You have a powerful story [...]]]>

Often speakers think that their audiences applaud and give standing ovations because they are a good speaker. Sadly, this is not always (actually, it’s rarely) the case. Here is a list of reasons why your audience might applaud at the end of you speech.

  • The speech is over… finally
  • The speech is short
  • You have a powerful story (overcoming paralysis, climbing Mount Everest, surviving Cancer, etc.)
  • The information you gave was helpful (even though your delivery was terrible)
  • You are the boss, and they don’t want to hurt your feelings
  • You tried and they applaud the effort
  • They are happy the next speaker/headliner is coming next
  • You are someone important
  • They feel bad for you and don’t want you to feel embarrassed
  • You announced some happy news at the end (“A new car for everyone in the audience!”)
  • You have a powerful message and are an excellent speaker

We are a very polite society. We applaud for many reasons other than “you have a powerful message and are an excellent speaker.” Don’t make the mistake of judging the success of you speech solely on the applause you receive at the end.



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/reasons-why-audiences-applaud-at-the-end-of-a-speech/feed/ 3 Successful Speeches and Speakers http://presentingmatters.com/blog/successful-speeches-and-speakers/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/successful-speeches-and-speakers/#comments Fri, 05 Jun 2009 12:55:09 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=44 As I work with professional speakers and other business professionals wanting to become successful at giving presentations, the question of what makes a good presenter comes up quite a bit. They want to be good and polished, but not “canned” and fake. Therefore, here are 5 characteristics of a successful presenter:

1) They know their strengths [...]]]>

As I work with professional speakers and other business professionals wanting to become successful at giving presentations, the question of what makes a good presenter comes up quite a bit. They want to be good and polished, but not “canned” and fake. Therefore, here are 5 characteristics of a successful presenter:

1) They know their strengths and weaknesses. Many people believe “humor” is a good characteristic. Humor is a good quality to have and a good quality to use in your presentation….if you’re funny. Let’s face it. Some people just aren’t funny. However, there are different types of “funny”. Some presenters are great at telling a joke, others have a dry sense of humor and are good at playing the “straight man”, others like using a sense of irony, while others use humor in their storytelling, and so on. Therefore, in any aspect of presenting, the best presenters know their strengths and use them, meanwhile working on developing or masking their weaknesses.

2) They are centered and grounded on the platform. As many people know, our body language communicates a great amount of information to our audiences. Even if a presenter has great content, the speech can still be a flop if their body language is distracting. If they do not have the ability to stay centered and grounded (have a commanding presence) on the platform and, instead, move aimlessly, have their hands in their pockets, rock back and forth on their feet, sway side to side, or even lean on the lectern, then the speech loses its power and a big part of the message is lost.

3) They’ve done their homework. Good presenters are diligent about getting the necessary information about their audience so that they can adjust the speech any way necessary. They will find examples and stories that best connect with each audience demographic. A presentation to the staff on the “front lines” should be slightly different than a speech to the executives and board members.

They know their speech. There’s no disputing that a speaker who uses notes isn’t as effective or impressive as a speaker who delivers a speech flawlessly without the aid of notes. Therefore, another characteristic of successful presenters is having the diligence of putting in the work to memorize and rehearse the speech so that it is top notch.

They are emotionally connected to the content. The best presenters are able to take the content of their speech and find stories and examples that they can connect with emotionally and that illustrate and support the points within the presentation. Many professionals have to give presentations on “boring” topics. Everything from new tax laws, new employee policies, reviewing last year’s revenues, machine maintenance procedures, and so on. Great presenters are able to find the core message of the speech and use personal stories and examples within the presentation. No matter how “boring” the topic is, the best presenters can bring it to life.



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/successful-speeches-and-speakers/feed/ 0 How to Ask for Promotions and Raises http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-to-ask-for-promotions-and-raises/ http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-to-ask-for-promotions-and-raises/#comments Wed, 03 Jun 2009 12:47:24 +0000 Sharí Alexander http://presentingmatters.com/blog/?p=38 I know that there must be many people out there who know that it is time to get their promotion and/or raise, but are too afraid to push the issue. Asking for a promotion is an awkward situation filled with anxiety and now is certainly no exception! Every day we hear about the tough economic [...]]]>

I know that there must be many people out there who know that it is time to get their promotion and/or raise, but are too afraid to push the issue. Asking for a promotion is an awkward situation filled with anxiety and now is certainly no exception! Every day we hear about the tough economic times and how businesses are struggling. Who wants to go to their boss and ask for more when the boss has such a strong trump card? After all, your manager can easily say, “We just can’t afford it because of the economy.”

Please, don’t let this stop you from asking for what you deserve. Below are some excerpts from an email conversation I had with someone who attended one of my programs. She was asking for advice on how to effectively ask for a promotion.

She wrote me and asked: “A question I have is, how does one present themselves and be heard when asking for a promotion?…After a year of [working at my current position] by myself without any back up I spoke to [my boss] about my progress and trials. I asked about [the promotion he has promised] and he said I would be promoted but further down the road…then that will be as high as I can go in this department. Another year has gone by, and I have made it a successful department. The customers are happier, the coworkers are happier, and I have saved [the company] money. … I asked to speak [to him] about [the promotion] and, of course, there is an open door policy, but how can I really be heard this time?”

Here are some of the tips I gave her, plus a few extra:

1) Documentation: Put it in black and white. Bring documentation of all of your achievements. Prove to your boss that you are a valuable asset to the company. The woman who asked me this question mentioned that customers and co-workers are happier, put it on paper. Do you have a ranking system? If not, what have they said specifically? If it’s possible, get testimonial letters. Make sure your boss has something tangible to hold on to that lists all of your successes after you leave.

2) Make it formal: Even though her boss has an “open door policy”, this is not a subject that you want to drop in and discuss. Make an appointment to discuss the promotion. This is an important topic, make sure that the two of you have set aside enough time to thoroughly discuss it. That way you both a prepared.

3) WIIFT?: Remember, it’s not all about you. What’s In It For Them? Be sure to not only discuss you achievements but also provide information on what you hope to achieve in your new position. How will you help the company in achieving their goals? Are you restricted in your current position? What goals would you set for yourself in the new position? Remember, what are the benefits to them?

4) Be Confident: Don’t let your nerves get the best of you. Your nonverbal communication can speak volumes of how you really feel. If you are tapping your feet, hunched over, and talking in a quiet voice, your boss will know that you aren’t confident in yourself or in what your asking. Sit up straight, sit still, breathe, and keep your composure. It doesn’t hurt to do a few test rehearsals with your spouse or friends!

5) Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst: In case your boss says that the promotion won’t be happening at that time, then I would suggest that you, at that very moment, set another meeting in 6-9 months to revisit the discussion of your promotion. Then, ask your boss, “What specifically would you need to see from me in order to make this promotion possible?” During those 6-9 months, work on more achievements that you can add to your “promotion file” for your next meeting. Also, you need to prepare yourself by looking into other opportunities. I’m not saying prepare to leave your job, just yet! For you to feel more confident in your next meeting, you will want to know, in the back of your mind, whether you need this job or if there are other opportunities out there for you.



]]> http://presentingmatters.com/blog/how-to-ask-for-promotions-and-raises/feed/ 0